Making Druze Relationships Work

Men and women have wrestled forever to find the secrets of a successful relationship. Druze mothers claim that the secret lies in being a faithful, respectful, and loving wife. However, contradicting expectations between men and women do not make this advice complete.

When conflicts arise, a resolution requires effort from both sides to prevent the worst. According to the United Nations Economic and Social Commission, the divorce rate in Lebanon had increased by 55% between 2000 and 2013.

Fairy tales promise ladies that their love story would have a “happily ever after” ending. Prince charming would carry them away on his white horse to his castle to be happy for eternity. Men have a more practical version of what marriage would be like. They want to marry a lady that would share the good times and willingly endure the bad times. They want a faithful housewife to raise responsible kids without nagging or complaining about her workload. The sweet and kind wife would draw a smile and welcome her man with hugs and kisses when he returns.

Due to these differing expectations between men and women, marriages might be doomed from the start. Both sides should put in the effort and listening skills to make a relationship work. Druze parents should coach their kids and explain that happy marriages require commitment, ongoing effort, and honest communication. That’s the start to solving relationship problems and overcoming the obstacles found in all marriages.

The Indian mystic Sadhguru has a saying that goes like, “If you’re wrong and you apologize, you’re a good man. If you think you’re right and you apologize, you’re a great man. If you know you’re right and you apologize, you’re a Husband.”

The truth is that every individual interprets love in their own way, based on personal needs and desires. Ladies might expect love to be about cuddles and hugs, praise, and support. Conversely, men might picture love as just about physical intimacy. If each fails to express their needs properly, both may end up in disappointment and dissatisfaction.

As a consequence, men or women might try to meet their emotional or physical needs outside of the marriage. This path leads to a complete emotional disconnect, and may even lead to divorce. Research indicates that one divorce occurs per an estimated 13 seconds in the United States.

Abraham Maslow, an American psychologist, explains that basic psychological needs for every person include the need to love, to be loved, and to belong. Having intimate relationships and friendships helps a person feel that they belong to a supportive community that preserves their security and makes them feel significant.

Five tips for a healthy relationship:

Communicate openly and effectively
It’s important to listen actively to a partner’s desires, concerns, and worries. Effective communication results in compassion and empathy rather than criticism and rejection. “Listen to understand before seeking to be understood” is good advice here. Otherwise, doling out needs like parking tickets will be met with defensiveness and withdrawal.
Accept a partner for who they are
When a man and woman first meet, they draw a figure of the ideal person in their mind. In time, this image gets broken into tiny fragments by the reality of life outside our minds. Conflicts arise when one person tries to change the other to suit their own needs.
Show the other person you care
There is a saying, “a happy wife makes for a happy life,” and it’s sage advice. Studies show that a wife’s happiness is more crucial than her husband’s for a happy marriage. Husbands are asked to put in more effort to make their wives happier. For example, women enjoy being given flowers, invited to places of liking, and given thoughtful compliments.
Take responsibility: avoid the blame game
Assigning blame is one of the most destructive things one can do to a relationship. Instead of becoming defensive or aggressive in an argument, one should look for ways to take responsibility for the problem. Avoid saying things like, “you made me say that to you. It’s your fault.” Finding an opportunity to apologize may resolve a conflict and make the other feel better.
Be a partner in the business of relationships
Men can be more involved with the kids — putting kids to bed, taking them to school games, and spending quality time. Ladies can look for opportunities to support their partner financially and emotionally. Helping a female partner to achieve her dreams and goals is just as important as helping a male partner deal with life’s obstacles.

Not all Druze couples will have a beautiful outcome like Tarek Danaf and Mira Saab, the Druze couple in the picture above, but with enough commitment we can all improve!

(Thanks to everyone that submitted an image for our team’s consideration to headline this article.)

References:
Treleaven, Sarah June 26, 2018, The Science Behind Happy Relationships, 2018 Retrieved from https://time.com/5321262/science-behind-happy-healthy-relationships/
Brightside.me, A Wife’s Happiness Is More Crucial than Her Husband’s For a Happy Marriage, Study Finds
Retrieved from https://brightside.me/inspiration-relationships/a-wifes-happiness-is-more-crucial-than-her-husbands-for-a-happy-marriage-study-finds-787810/?ref=hvper.com
Wevorce.com, July 13, 2017, 6 Surprising Statistics About Divorce in 2017, Retrieved from https://www.wevorce.com/blog/6-surprising-divorce-statistics-divorce-2017/
United Nations Economic and Social Commission for Western Africa, 2013, Retrieved from https://www.unescwa.org/unbis/divorce-statistics